Cappie's Guide to The Dangerous Wildlife of Georgian Bay

Since many people who read this blog might one day find themselves in the pristine waters of Georgian Bay, and even venture by dinghy on to land now and again, I thought I would let you know in advance about some of the dangerous species that exist here. That way, with a bit of common sense, a day trip to the sunny shores of the area won’t end in disaster or worse. Hence, this general publication of …

Cappie’s  Guide to The Dangerous Wildlife of Georgian Bay

The Black Bear

One of the most dangerous predators of the Georgian Bay area, the common Black Bear (named not because of the colour of its fur, but its general mood) can grow up to 17’ long and weigh over one ton. These bears tend to travel in packs and can be very dangerous if cornered or made fun of with gestures.

One rule of thumb is to never get between a mother bear and its cub. A new mother bear may want her off-spring to become a dentist, for instance. It would be great folly indeed, therefore, to buy a young black bear a guitar for it's birthday. The enraged mother bear would probably eat her own rather than live to see it become a musician.

Enraged Black Bear finding out her cub has joined a ska band

The Eastern Massassauga Rattlesnake

The Eastern Massassauga Rattlesnake, cousin to the Western Massassauga Rattlesnake and distantly related to the Southern Massassauga Rattlesnake and completely unrelated to the Northern Massassauga Rattlesnake, is easily the most formidable of the Massassauga snake family. Owing to the massive chemical pollution of the great lakes, the EMR has evolved into a bizarre version of its previous self. Growing up to 17’ long and weighing over one ton, the EMR can now be spotted in trees and other overhanging growth. The pollution damage to EMR eggs over the last three decades has caused it to grow a second head at what used to be its shoulder region and now the two-headed EMR is common to all areas of Georgian Bay. If you hear this snake rattling its "back brains" stop and slowly move away. It's venom can kill a full-grown bull moose in 2 seconds.

Should you encounter one of these dangerous animals, there is only one safe way of dealing with it. Since Poison Ivy has a narcotic effect on these monsters of the park, the Parks Department asks that when you run into this hideous reptile you should cover it with Poison Ivy and then, once it is unconscious, place it in a canvas sack and bring it to the nearest Ranger station. Just leave it on the counter with a note addressed to Steve.

Young EMR wit its secondary head

The Muskellunge or Muskie

Even in the seemingly calm, clear water of the bays and inlets around our wonderful Georgian Bay, horrific danger lurks mere inches below the surface. The Muskie is a fearsome fish with crocodile-like jaws and a ravenous appetite. Specimens have been caught reaching lengths of 17’ and weighing in at over one ton. Anglers caught unaware by one of these submarine behemoths have often been dragged overboard and devoured because of lack of vigilance.

There is little to be done to avoid the Muskie as it can reach swimming speeds of up to 40 MPH and in the green and blue waters of the lake, is almost impossible to spot before it’s too late. There have been unconfirmed reports that some fishermen have had success in distracting them temporarily with egg salad sandwiches.

Georgian Bay's silent killer - The Muskie

The Chipmunk

The Northern Reticulated Chipmunk is not to be confused with their cute, furry cousins from other areas of Ontario. This Chipmunk has four rows of razor-sharp bicuspids, can leap up to 15 feet and has an acid-like spray that it can eject from the large poison-sacs located around their throat

If you come upon one of these creatures while it is sleeping in its lair or ‘kill cave’ you may have caught a break and an opportunity for escape. After feeding on one of its many prey, (which includes the aforementioned Black Bear and Muskie) the Northern Chipmunk may sleep for up to five days. 

Northern Reticulated Chipmunk - or Wolvermunk

The Raccoon

The Georgian Bay Raccoon (or as the indigenous population has named it, Okantawe - Death Bringer) again differs greatly from its southern type. Instead of breaking into garbage cans and eating the garbage, it hides in the can silently waiting for park visitors to toss something in. Be sure not to put your hands too close to any receptacle or you may be grabbed, hauled inside and dispatched of quickly by this wily predator.

It was the Georgian Bay Raccoon that was Species Zero in the proliferation of rabies, cholera and rickets that has subsequently spread far and wide.

Sabre-tooted Okantawe

The Mosquito

The Mosquito (French for Terrible Insect) is not uncommon to most parts of Canada. However, the Georgian Bay Mosquito is over 8 feet long and has not one but two stingers. The second stinger is located near its anus. Campers falling asleep in their tents without properly securing the zippers have been found the next day, totally drained of blood.

Research shows that one female GB Mosquito needs the equivalent of the entire blood supply of four Sussex oxen in order to reproduce. That passing airplane you hear overhead at night is probably a GBM off to find its next abandoned bus barn in order to lay its eggs.

As monstrous as these creatures are you can avoid attack by covering yourself in a mixture of honey, wild rhubarb and camp-fire ash.

Georgian Bay Mosquito feasts on camper

Certainly, there are many things to do in the woods and waters of Georgian Bay. And first amongst these is... STAYING ALIVE!